Lately, I’ve been trying to focus more on single-tasking. This is a huge challenge for me, as I find comfort in a certain amount of busyness and security in claiming a high level of “productivity.” On top of that, I’m working actively to make sure my priorities are reflected on my calendar and in the way I spend my time. More and more, I’m learning that giving my full attention to something is a form of respect, and multitasking hinders me from giving my best to any one thing.
The interesting thing that I’ve found about this transition, is that because my “busyness” and “productivity” are way down (although I’m learning that productive should really be measured in quality, not quantity), I am struggling with a bizarre guilt. If I decide to sit down and write, my brain says I should be working out. If I decide to go work out, my brain says I should be spending time with my husband. If I decide to take a night off and just hang out with my husband, my brain says I should be blogging. And all of that makes one feels very tired of making the “wrong” choice.
What I’m learning is that I had built up a lot of unhealthy expectations of myself and imposed many demands on my time that were more dictated by what I “thought” I should be doing as opposed to being true to my own desires for what I want my life to look like and reflect. Creative time, working out, quality time with my husband – these are all things that are dear to my heart and important. But I don’t need to be doing them all, ALL of the time. And if how I’m spending my time lines up with my heart and my priorities, I can be happy about that decision – even if I’m “sacrificing” the time I could be spending doing something else, or many something elses. I can be happy about decisions that line up with my intentions, and the fact that I’m not doing everything is actually a good and healthy thing! Whatever that one thing is that I’m doing, this is my right choice, for right now!
So, one thing at a time, please. And if it makes you happy, be happy about it!
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